My Testimony

First, I want to apologize for it being almost an exact year since I last wrote. When I say this past year has been crazy, it’s not an exaggeration. It’s been hard for me to sit down and take the time to really dive into my thoughts. I probably wouldn’t have started writing again if it wasn’t for a close friend coming to me about her own aspirations to share her voice. Reading her words made me remember the feeling of writing your thoughts for others to read. That said, I wanted to share the most impactful experience I’ve had this past year, and that is my coming to Christ. This is my testimony:

I have never told my full testimony before, and although it was a very quick decision for me to accept Christ, once I realized how he had been working in my life throughout the years, it’s a long story to tell. Please bear with me. I want to start off by acknowledging my parents for never forcing my faith in one direction. Growing up I didn’t go to church and wasn’t sure what religion my parents identified with(if they did at all). I believed in a higher power, but wasn’t sure what that was or how it affected my life. I found myself often changing my beliefs depending on who I was speaking to. Overall, religion didn’t seem to be an important factor in my life.

For 19 years I focused on myself. No, I wasn’t conceded or self absorbed. But I really tried to focus on what was in my best interest for the success of my softball career and my overall happiness in general. Yet, I often found myself spiraling into the same state of mind, border line depressive. One moment I could be with friends, happiest person in the room, and the next I’d be alone in my room crying, unsure of what I was actually crying about. Senior year of high school was full of some of my happiest and saddest moments. No matter who I was with or who I was talking to, the same feeling of isolation found its way into my heart. At that time I had no reason to feel sad or alone in any way. I had loving parents, amazing friends, what I thought was a great boyfriend, three cats, a softball career, what more could an 18 year old girl ask for? Looking back on it all now, I know that the only thing ultimately missing was God.

When I met my roommate last year I knew I had lucked out. What I didn’t know was that God was working in my life long before I realized. She was the first person to really introduce me to The Gospel. After a year of getting to know my best friend and the way God had shaped her life I started to notice small instances of work He had been putting into my everyday life. My roommate didn’t even plan on coming to Kentucky until the end of her senior year. She actually had a different roommate set up at the University of Louisville(L’s down). This small fact is a huge part of my testimony. Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” God is very precise about who he puts in your path and when he puts them there. Sometimes, without even realizing, it’s when you need them the most. Now that I recognize His plan I've realized that there is no such thing as chance. Our team got a transfer this year and to many that might not seem like the biggest news, but for my spiritual journey it has meant everything. You don't notice how much two people can positively impact your life until you look back on what life was like before you met them and see how much you've grown together. So this is the part where I thank Bailey and Autumn for changing my life and for leading me to Christ. Without their support and patience I never would have thought of going to FCA and my story would have ended here.

About a week after my 20th birthday my roommate asked me if I wanted to go to FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). The group was going to our Athletic Directors house for dinner and she said anyone was welcome so I thought, why not? The Monday prior to dinner at the AD’s house I went to FCA for the first time. I’ll never forget that Monday night. One of the baseball players was speaking to the group and sharing his testimony, someone I admire greatly for their character and respect for the game. I remember sitting in the room, listening, as if he was speaking directly to me. As if God was speaking through him trying to reach out to me. I related to every word and at the end of his testimony he reached out and offered to sit down with anyone who was newly Christian or anyone that wasn’t sure if they were ready to commit their life to God. As soon as I got home I messaged him and we planned to meet.

I was extremely nervous going into this meeting, I wasn’t sure what I would say or how I’d explain what I was feeling. I basically started rambling about the lack of religion in my life and how I wanted a relationship with God but was scared to commit to such a power(realizing now how silly I was for being afraid of someone who loves me endlessly). After we spoke for a while he suggested I talk to the Minister who leads FCA, who also helped him begin his walk in faith. The next day I met with Aaron and since then I’ve never looked back. Aaron provided me with substantial evidence to lean on while I started my own research. He urged me to dive into God’s word and listen to the way he was trying to speak to me. It wasn’t until then that I fully understood that God had been working in my heart for years.

The next day I drove 30 minutes to the nearest Barnes and Noble and bought my first Bible. I went home and started reading. Learning and understand God’s word more and more each day. I was still researching, all week, still trying to figure out what God was saying to me exactly. Sunday, 6 days after my first FCA meeting, I went to church for the first time with my roommate. I sat next to her in the sixth row, center of the room. We sang, and prayed together. And then the Minister began speaking to us from different Bible verses, sharing the same message. Again, as if He was talking directly to me and there was no one else in the room. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16. Each word he spoke drew me closer and closer to God. I sat and prayed for a sign, prayed for Him to tell me what my next step was. This next part is not an exaggeration… When I finally looked up, the same baseball player who I met with earlier that week and who offered me his hand in my walk with Christ was standing with Aaron in Holy Water about to be baptized. He was about to be cleaned of sin and publicly accept God as his Lord and Savior. At that moment, I broke down in tears. Quietly sobbing in a room full of people as I watched this man I had come to know fully commit his life to Christ. At that moment I knew that I didn’t just want the same thing, I needed it.

I kept in contact with Aaron throughout the next week, talking about what I was reading and how God had been working in my life. Finally we had reached the point where I was ready to vocally accept Christ. My roommate and I stayed late after FCA that next Monday and he took us into a smaller, more private room where we could pray together. I wanted my roommate to be there with me because I felt like she was a huge piece to the bridge connecting me with Christ. Aaron lead me in a prayer and I confessed: “Jesus is Lord and I believe with all my heart that God raised him from the dead.” Romans 10:13 says that “Everyone who calls on the name of Lord will be saved.” I whole heartedly believe that day I was saved. As I laid my head on my pillow that night it felt like a massive weight was taken off my shoulders. I didn’t feel like a new person or like I had some how been blessed with holy powers,  I felt at peace. Peace, something I had never completely understood until that moment.  Like The Lord took all the weight off my shoulders and put it on his own. Philippians 4:7 describes the peace of God as the transcendent of all understanding, how it will guard our hearts and our minds in Jesus Christ.

What's the next step in my walk with faith? Now I patiently await my own baptism. This Sunday, everyone who took my hand and helped bridge my way to Christ will join me as I publicly accept God into my life. I've never felt more humbled and blessed to have amazing friends and family by my side through this spiritual journey. I began marking important dates on the binding of my bible recently, "Coming to Christ: 10.16.17" and soon I'll write, "Baptism: 4.8.18." This way, no matter where life takes me, I'll always have these dates to look back on and relish in. It’s only been about six months since I first gave my heart to Christ, yet, I feel like I’ve known him my whole life. By studying his word I learn more everyday and our relationship continues to grow. I have never felt more at peace, and I know I will never be alone again. Genesis 28:15 shared the word of God as this, “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” 

Well, that’s my story of coming to Christ. A short, yet intricate story of God vigorously working at my heart. It took 20 years for me to see all the ways He had been shaping my path and the decisions made along the way. It wasn’t easy by any means, but I wouldn’t change a single thing. God’s plan is bigger than our own and the deeper I dive into His Word the more I understand the importance of trusting in Him. To those reading who are still wary, scared to commit their heart to Christ, or simply have not recognized the signs of God working in their life yet, I challenge you to open your heart to the possibility. Pray. Open The Book. Dive into His Word. Or simply reach out to someone(such as myself) who recognizes this conflict. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.“ Ephesians 2:8.